Well there are plenty of things I would like to talk about. But the one I will talk about right now is what concerns me a lot. Ask yourself how many times have you been in a situation where you couldn’t do something you have planned to do just because of the fear? I’m talking about situations like asking someone to do you a favour or asking somebody completely stranger to help you out. For me it’s an easy task if I’m in an emergency. But what if you have some kind of project going on or you’re just having a business plan and you really need an interaction with people but you have fear? I’ve been in such situations before.
What I have discovered is that all my fear was growing from my denial to accept the simple “NO” for an answer. I always wanted people to say “YES” to me. I think we all want that people who are surrounding us to accept our views and agree with them. Just imagine – everybody who interacts with us saying yes to everything we do or suggest. Oh… yeah… that would be cool, wouldn’t it? Well… I think it would be quite boring, we would lack creativity a lot. And I mean a lot. What I’m trying to say is this: It is not always easy to bring your ideas forward but with these difficulties you’re forced to create new ways to deal with problems, it pushes you to be unique. It pushes your creativity. And for me learning to accept this “no” was hard.
Sometimes you think “I’ll better stay at home and won’t go out and push myself forward just not to have to hear this “no” “. But what do you have out of this? First of all, you’ve lost your priceless time. Secondly, you could have gone to another opportunity and could be successful there. AND thirdly, everything is better than sitting home and dreaming of things you could have done differently IF you have only tried…
So how did I overcome my fear?
I needed a chair. I had this idea. It was all about my portfolio and this certain picture I desperately wanted to take where the subject sits on an old baroque style chair. But where can you get one especially when you’re short in money? I could buy one on ebay for 400€. But pardon me 400€ for a chair I don’t even have space for would be absurd. Flea market? It’s still an expense. Then I started asking my friends and friends of their friends, relatives, everyone I knew. Nobody had one. Nobody I KNEW had one. One day I saw a green chair I needed in the town in our local clothes shop called Factory©. But no way I could get this chair. Right?
Hm… Let me think. Have you seen my gallery? Have you seen a dude [his name is Travis Meisner. He is a professional clarinet player from Canada. You can add a like to his Facebook page here] sitting on a green baroque style chair ? Well this is the chair I’m talking about right now. I thought that for me getting this baby would be impossible, because I needed to interact with the shop owner and it would probably lead to a clear “NO”. And as I have already mentioned I couldn’t state a “NO”. Thus I didn’t ask. Simply because nobody who is owning a clothes shop will lend his furniture to a stranger. We’re not talking about shirts and pieces of wardrobe, we’re talking about expensive piece of wood, which you probably buy once. This was my fear. So I was asking other people I knew if they had one.
But the chair I needed was there in this shop. The time was passing by and the deadline for the shoot was getting closer. Deep inside I had this feeling that I had to ask the shop owner but I wasn’t listening to it – I had my fear. At this point how many of you have been in similar situations before? What did you do? Nothing. Went away and let somebody else take over your opportunity. I couldn’t just let it be this way again because I’ve been in situations like this before probably more than you can imagine and I knew how it would end… crappy shot, mad at myself for not asking and pushing myself forward.
So one day I have decided that I have to go there. I was nervous, sweating, I was waiting for a bad news but it never came. Instead the shop owner was very friendly, he listened to my idea and agreed to lend the chair for a day. I had to leave a deposit of 200€ in case he wouldn’t see his piece of furniture he paid 2000€ for. After being very surprised about such unexpected turn – what I say today “never fear”, the worst thing which can happen to you, is getting this “No” to hear. But you know what? I’ve heard more “no’s” from my friends and relatives than from a stranger in this clothes shop.
Even if somebody says no to you don’t stuck and don’t get frightened. Ask people who can really help you out. Not just your relatives or friends, I don’t mean that asking you closest is bad, I’m saying that you need the right people for certain projects and you have to start there. Finding people you need takes time and a ton of no’s to accept but eventually someone will say yes.
You have to stay consistent and continue to ask and search. Especially if you’re building your own business, networking is very important part of it. Maybe the most important one. If you have an idea you want to realise you have to overcome your fears. You have to go and swim in waters you have never been before. But if it is what it takes than you have to take this jump, otherwise you’ll spend the rest of your life sitting home blaming yourself for not listening to your heart but to your fears only.